The Ambassadeurs... a brief analysis

The Ambassadeurs (1002) is a painting by Hans Upguv the Elder which hangs in the Regional Gallery, Dewsbury. As well as being a double portrait, the painting contains a still life of several meticulously rendered objects, the meaning of which is the cause of much debate. 

Among the clues to the figures' explorative associations are a selection of scientific instruments including two globes (one terrestrial and one of the wider agenda), a baby monitor, a watch and a fridge, as well as various textiles including the floor mosaic, based on a design from Aldi (Leicester) and the carpet on the upper shelf, which is most notably Carpet Kingdom. The inclusion of the two figures can furthermore be seen as symbolic - the figure on the left is in secular attire while the figure on the right is dressed in clerical clothes (both outfits available from Next 2012 Winter Collection).  Their flanking of the table, which displays open diaries, symbols of religious knowledge and even a symbolic link to the Virgin, is therefore believed by some critics to be a blatant front to show association to the Church.

The Skull

The most notable and famous of Hans Upguv's symbols in the work is the distorted skull which is placed in the bottom centre of the composition. The skull, rendered in anamorphic perspective is meant to be a visual puzzle as from a blinkered view, the skull has come to no harm and therefore cannot be seen. 

Interpretation

Before the publication of Marjorie F.S. Hensch's 'Upguv's Ambassadeurs', the identity of the two figures in the picture had long been a subject of intense debate. Petula Gurney was the first to propose the figure on the left as the Marquis of Rothley. Shortly afterwards, the cleaning of the picture revealed that his seat of Stig is one of only four places marked on the globe.  Hensch identified the figure on the right as Healy Hottlipple, Bishop of Soar. 

According to art historian Peter Wolfe, it is still difficult to accurately pinpoint the dates and people in this painting.  A deliberate act by the artist, he supposes.  Scholars have argued that this earlier identification was incorrect. Wolfe, for example, remarks that "This was a natural enough supposition to be made by a person with limited local knowledge, since the two lived on the family estate together, but with numerous lies told over time, it is almost certainly mistaken".  He points to a letter written by the Marquis on 28 March 1030, in which he talks of an imminent meeting with the pope and makes no mention of visiting home. Wolfe's book analyzes the painting and shows it to be representing an earlier time frame through various clues on the instruments.

The Role of a Brand Ambassador

Brand ambassadors market a brand, product or service on behalf of a business organisation. They promote the brand name, products and services by interacting with customers, business partners and the media. Brand ambassadors are basically company marketing representatives and customer relationship managers. The objective of the brand ambassador position is to provide information about a brand, product or service, generate income and build preference of a brand name.

The charity Missing People have (in my opinion) made the wrong decision in appointing Kate McCann as ambassador - wrong because although Mrs McCann has publicly associated herself with the charity in the past, she has never volunteered her services.  She was also one of the prime suspects in her missing daughter's case and to this day has never been cleared.

In the case of a donation based charity, public opinion is tantamount and I've already read of many horrified fundraisers refusing to donate any further monies to Missing People.  Which is a shame.

There are many comparisons popping up online, such as Karen Matthews as Mrs McCann's assistant and right hand umm man, and...

Harold Shipman as ambassador for Help the Aged.

Peter Sutcliffe as ambassador for Battered Women.

Hitler as ambassador for Dove soap.

Sick comparisons, but just as sick as the Queen of Neglect championing missing children?

With the help from friends in high places, the McCanns seem to be on a roll with their 'wider agenda' so hey ho, here are some familiar and easy suggestions for Mrs McCann to further her non-diplomatic ambassadorship career...

Institute of Babysitters

Legal and Fighting Funds

Ministry of Sad Faces

Tapas Drinks and Nibbles Chamber of Commerce

Whether she likes it or not, being directly implicated in her own daughter's disappearance means that Kate McCann will always be the best ambassadorial reminder that you should never, ever leave your children alone.  For the good of all the children that are still here and not already missing...

However, the 'snooty, cadaver scent under the nose' look is NOT a good marketing ploy - she really should go au naturelle (and I definitely don't mean commando).

Hot Lips Healy Hails Hotline...

Sometimes I think I'm living on another planet.

Some things are just wrong.  Wrong.

Kate McCann hails new hotline

Kate McCann is among guests at a Downing Street reception to celebrate the introduction of a new Europe-wide hotline to help find missing children.

This comment completely sums it up for me...

"It's unbelievable that a woman can be invited to number 10 for leaving her kids alone while she went on the piss, oh yes and losing one into the bargain.  It's unreal!!"

Is Mrs McCann simply being used for her repute and tabloid pulling power?  Or like the 'review' was Dave's arm twisted by Rebekah? LOL. To be honest I'd rather look and listen to anyone else and find it appalling that the likes of this woman should have the honour of being at Downing Street when there really are more deserving envoys.

The McCanns are representatives of the charity, Missing Persons, a charity which they use when it suits them.  Being a representative does tend to make one sound important and involved... yet they are so embroiled in other things, they don't care to ensure that their own missing child's poster is updated.  It hasn't been for 5 years.  Missing Madeleine is still four...

Missing People - Madeleine McCann downloadable poster

This new hotline is a great idea - what a pity it wasn't available to Madeleine McCann she needed it.

The Madeleine McCann Company...

In light of a vast £2m being spent (so far) on the Scotland Yard review and goodness knows how much in Portugal, don't you find it absolutely appalling and in very bad taste that the McCanns are once again publicly attempting to boost the balance of the Madeleine Fund?

Now why do they need more money?  Gerry McCann still consults both for the NHS and in private healthcare.  A hefty sum was apparently made from Kate McCann's book 'Madeleine' which will no doubt be boosted by the recently released paperback version.  It has also been reported that Edgar has whoosh clunked and no longer works for the McCanns.  With ongoing reviews in both the UK and Portugal, it surely must be a relief for the McCanns to no longer have to claim that 'no law enforcement agency is looking for Madeleine'?

So why do they need more money?  It's a smack in the face to every taxpayer and every officer working on the review teams.

In order to make money, companies normally offer a service or sell items to keep that company running.  For many it's their liveliehood, they work hard to put food on their tables and a roof over their heads.  The McCanns business offers nothing.  This pair are content to simply sit on their backsides, and reap in the cash by offering nothing but a Paypal button or bank account number to the unsuspecting public.  To run their company, they expect money to simply be given to them as if it's their right.

Now that they intend to slink back into the limelight with the proverbial begging bowl, it really is time for it to be publicly made clear that this 'fund' is not a charity or a search fund for a missing child - it is the McCanns own company, their own business!  Like any other business, it needs to make money.  However, it is a business that is being used for other means including costs in their many legal battles.  Thanks to the McCanns, legal eagles such as Carter Ruck, Isabel Duarte, Rogerio Alves and many more have become a household name.  All these lawyers employed in the UK and Portugal, yet the McCanns only employ one private investigator, Dave Edgar.

Their pathetic priorities are very clear, as is the real need to 'fundraise'.

When visiting Praia de Luz, they lurk in the shadows.  They don't appeal or speak to the Portuguese public - people who helped them so much in the early days and who lost time and money out of the goodness of their own hearts.  In the last five years, I've seen the McCanns show more passion for litigation than appeals to their missing daughter or her so called 'abductor'

It's about time this loathesome charade came to an end.  Five years on... how many more?

The Maddie Sightings - Nuggets and Dust or Fools Gold?

New File On Missing Madeleine Is 'Gold Dust' Sky News

Roddy Mansfield, Sky News Online

12:58pm UK, Wednesday March 03, 2010

A newly released file on the disappearance of Madeleine McCann is "gold dust" and could lead to a breakthrough, her parents' spokesman has said.

Clarence Mitchell told Sky News it was disgraceful that information about possible sightings of Madeleine has only emerged now after sitting in a box since 2008, when the case was closed by Portuguese police.

"The McCanns have been tearing their hair out for a long time, they're very frustrated this information has been sitting in a file since July 2008," he said.

"This information is gold dust to them. Kate and Gerry need all of it and they want a full review of all the information it contains.

"Our investigators are working at times with one hand tied behind their back.

"Our investigators will now work very hard and three years on it will hopefully lead to the breakthrough Kate and Gerry have been waiting for."

Some snipped examples of what is construed as 'gold dust'...

"She looked so sad and so alone."

"...described her as "very agitated and sobbing".

"...were stunned when she cried out as a "tubby" man hurried her away."

"The girl just stood staring at me. The look in her eyes conveyed a feeling of 'Help me'."

"The girl just stood staring at me, I would say for about 10 seconds."

"She was just very shy and afraid."

“She hardly spent any time with the family and didn’t sit with the people she was with at all.”

"She was about eight and seemed really airy-fairy, and in a world of her own."

"She did not seem to fit with the German couple or their two curly-haired toddlers."

Clarence Mitchell said these chicken nuggets would be passed to their crack private investigators.  As we've heard nothing more of this dust over the last two years, can we assume that nothing further has advanced and that they've been fully investigated and ruled out by Edgar and co?  Or is Redwood working on Edgar's cast offs?

As for all these scared, agitated, sobbing tadpoles... Those with children will have knowledge that the 'terrible twos' are an absolute fallacy.  The terrible twos appear before the second birthday and can continue indefinitely.  Children change like the weather and can go from a loving, bundle of fun to a wild, frenzied banshee in the blink of an eye.  

"I hate you"

"Help me"

"Leave me alone"

...are common phrases heard in the banshee state.  The banshee state can be caused by a number of things including tiredness, irritability. Simply not getting their own way is enough trigger an episode.  In addition to a lot of noise, it also propels the child to offer blocked resistance to the parent, sitting squarely on the ground or simply running away in the opposite direction.  As they age, children become wiser and know exactly how to play the weaker parent.  Common and normal.

It's also not out of the ordinary to see a child who looks different from her parents or siblings.  It's called the 'gene pool'.

No wonder these children hold the gaze of their intrepid 'spotters' and look frightened and shy.  YOU'RE A STRANGER - in the eyes of that child, the spotter is a complete and utter weirdo of the scariest realm and will freak the child out completely.  These children might not be the jolliest of children, but at least they were in the presence of their (different looking) parents and family.  Not something that happened very often in Praia de Luz.

I think that many of the above quotes could actually apply to Madeleine on that holiday in Praia de Luz.  Left in the creche all day, where the carers said she was a quiet, shy little soul.  And left night after night, alone in the apartment with her younger twin siblings.  On one reported occasion, crying for well over an hour.

And I wonder what a spotter's view of Madeleline would be in the presence of her parents on that holiday.  If they were lucky enough to be spotted together, that is.  Shy or lonely?  Agitated and sobbing?  Or just a normal airy fairy little girl, in a world of her own?